


"In your dreams."

by multifunctional



Category: Captain America
Genre: Dreams, Longing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 10:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4259121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifunctional/pseuds/multifunctional
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I dreamed last night that I saw you again.  It was, truthfully, not the most glamorous of meetings.  It began at the side of a muddy lake and ended with a kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"In your dreams."

I dreamed last night that I saw you again.  It was, truthfully, not the most glamorous of meetings.  It began at the side of a muddy lake and ended with a kiss.

\--

I sat on the edge of the dock, gazing out over the water, the surface of which was littered with bits of plastic fishing line and rubber flip flops.  Occasionally a fish would poke its face up to the surface, searching for one of those tasty bits of plastic to chow down on, but more frequently it would swim back down into the opaque mass of dirty water.  I gotta admit, I wasn't necessarily helping by throwing bits of sticks that I'd earlier collected at those fish, but at least I had the decency to pull out the unnatural material whenever it floated close enough to my feet.

(Please always recycle and take advantage of garbage cans around your parks and cities, alright folks?)

At any rate, something possessed me to wade into the muddy water for a garbage collection mini-mission.  (Seriously, people, for god's sake, stop littering.  Stop damaging the ecosystems that house those fish and animals).  The muddy bed felt cool and soft under my feet, and more than a little bit slippery.  That is probably the biggest factor that played into my loss of balance which resulted in a big splash and wet hair.  I'd also like to make a note that I appreciate there not being any fishhooks where my feet or my body landed.

One cold, spluttering moment later, I was back up in the warm summer air and inhaling the sweet gnat-infested air.  Just as sweet and probably less gnat-infested was the sound of a familiar laugh behind me.

"And he sticks the landing!"

A hand clapped my shoulder firmly, helping me stabilize my balance before patting hard enough to knock me back off-kilter.

"Well done, my friend, way to go."

I turned around to beam at you, ready to make a sarcastic comment about you being no help in that, but you were gone just as instantly as you had appeared.  I looked around to see if I could find you, but of course, that wasn't about to happen the way I wanted. I'm not gonna lie, it really hurt.  It was that sadness that comes after a child loses his grip on a balloon or drops her ice cream, the ache that comes with seeing a poor mother get excited about something so common that she never gets to own but shows to her family with longing.  I put my left hand on my right shoulder, where you had held me, feeling a burning where your fingers had been.  I missed you by seconds.  You were gone again.

I sunk into the water again, and when I came back out of it, I was no longer at the lake.  I was stepping out from under a small stream of water gushing over the edge of a rock.  My back was to the rock, and to my left was a small tent.  Nothing remarkable; in fact, a shabby looking thing.  Nevertheless, I grabbed a towel and (somehow already dried and clothed) made my way into that dingy little tent.

There you were.

At last, I could see you.  Your hair was still long, as it was that time on the bridge and in the helicarrier, but neater.  Brushed, pulled into a half ponytail.  You were laying on a sleeping bag on the floor, eyes shut and body relaxed.  You were so beautiful.  I was moved to tears.

I nudged your leg with my foot and you blinked your way back into consciousness, just enough to register my face and pat the ground next to you.  You let your eyes shut again, you inhaled more deeply than before.  I laid next to you.  I laid on your arm.  The real one, not the metal one.  I inched over until I was halfway on top of your chest.

You were so warm, warmer than the sunlight still filtering in through that ratty old tent fabric.  Your breathing was slow and even, and your lips weren't as cracked and chapped as they sometimes got when you worried for days at a time.  I had to smile at that - it meant you were at ease.

You were here.  Your warm skin and even breath and even the three-day-old stubble on your cheeks and chin were so real and present to me, I had to kiss it.  Your jaw didn't clench.  Your breathing didn't speed up.  You simply turned your head and let me kiss your lips as gentle as anything.

I laid my head down on your shoulder and nestled into the crook of your neck, allowing my own eyes to close and to just be present in your warm embrace.

I was so happy.

\--

When I woke up in the morning, it took me a long time to reorient myself.  I was not in a tent with you. I was not bathed in your scent nor any cool water from any fall.  The warmth I felt was my own, unshared by anybody.  What I did feel was a sticky set of trails down my face and rawness in my eyes.

I miss you so much, Buck.  If there were anything at all in my human power that I could do to get us to that shitty tent by that little waterfall, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Part of me wishes these dreams about you would just stop already.  Part of me is grateful for even a glimpse of you.  Maybe it can happen someday, maybe I can somehow see you face to face in some context other than a battle to the death.

"In your dreams," I can hear you say.  Teasing, maybe, but also kind of cruel.  It's so like you, but….  Yeah.  In my dreams.


End file.
